Are you seeking security or adventure?

My formal education background is in STEM. I grew up in a household where there was always analysis and a solution. Naturally, when there is a problem in my life, whether it be professional, romantic, or fiscal, I approach it with logic.

Recently, I have started to watch the show Mr. Robot. If you happen to never have heard of it, it is about a young man, Elliot, with social anxiety who works in cyber security, yet is a vigilante hacker. He is very against corporate America despite working for it. He falls into an intense situation where his morals are questioned. I refuse to give any spoilers, but so far the show is phenomenal.

It’s all just 1s and 0s

At one point in the show Mr. Robot is telling Elliot that life does not have any grey areas; It is all 1s and 0s. This has been a concept I have been struggling with for some time.

Not because I disagreed, but because I agreed.

Let me give you an example using my relationships. I’d perform an assessment, and if I detected – or if the other person vocalized – anything less than 100% commitment, a “1,” I would end the relationship immediately. There was no grey area: if it wasn’t a “1,” it was a “0,” a complete “out.” I refused to dedicate my energy to a relationship lacking that full investment. Some might interpret this as Anxious-Avoidant Attachment, though I haven’t undergone any formal assessment.

Security or Adventure?

Recently, my binary approach has been thrown into question. Security and adventure are not mutually exclusive. As my partner says, it’s about balance.

I am seeking security and adventure. It is possible to have a reliable relationship with emotional stability with somebody who you can share wonderful adventures. I know it exists.

The ideal blend of the two will likely change as life progresses, and priorities change. But I plan to be intentional on not letting my binary approach let my pursuit of stability undermine my need for adventure and stifle my love for growth and learning.

What Are Your Thoughts?

Do you see the world in 1s and 0s? Do you prefer to live in the grey?