Tag: howto

3 Must Do’s When Living With a Chronic Illness

On By epil(epsy)ogueIn chronic illness, Health and WellnessLeave a comment

Trying to be “perfect” with a chronic illness is impossible. However, being open to learning about yourself, and adapting to your ever-changing situation, can help you thrive in ways that may seem unattainable. Here are three basic things that greatly help manage living with chronic illness.

Turn Bad Days Into Good Data

There are no avoiding bad days when you have a chronic illness. There is no doubt that a bad day can cause feelings of anger, frustration, and grief when losing another day to your condition.

One way we can turn them into a positive is by learning everything we can about those days. Analyze your day or week leading up to that bad day. Was it food, lack of sleep, and/or activity that triggered this bad day? If you are not sure, keeping track will help you see patterns you never noticed before.

Photo by Isaac Smith

Sometimes with chronic illness bad days happen for no particular reason. But perhaps you can find something that you have the ability to manage. Changing that one thing can perhaps decrease the frequency and severity of the bad day.

A health journal can be an ally in tracking your ups and downs. You can create a diary on paper, or look for apps that fit your needs. Along with tracking the “what went wrongs” do not forget to note the “what went rights.” Remembering to mark those positives can help maintain perspective.

Treat Your Emotional Health, Not Just Your Physical Health

With chronic illness you more than likely have been prescribed medication (or several) to treat your physical health. You have maybe changed your routine, or added an activity in your life to help cope with your chronic illness. But have you added anything to help improve your mental health?

Photo by Mike Erskine

Sometimes people feel like we must hide our illness, or just “tough it out” but that can be extremely detrimental to your mental health. Along those same lines, mental health can be extremely detrimental to your physical health.

Take the time to acknowledge your emotions, so that you can deal with them in a healthy way. If you are unsure how to start, reach out to a professional to help guide you in your mental health journey.

Be Forgiving

Would you treat a friend badly because they had to cancel plans because of their chronic illness? I assume not. So why would you be down on yourself when you have to? Treat yourself how you would treat a good friend in the same situation.

Replace judgemental thoughts with love and forgiveness. When you catch yourself saying or thinking a negative thought, stop, and reframe the thought. For example, I find myself thinking “I’m so pathetic” quite often.

When I catch myself in those moments I stop, take a breath, and change that thought. “I may not have been able to open the jar, but I tried, and asked for help when I needed it. And for that, I am proud of myself.”
This may seem difficult at first, but the more you practice, the easier it becomes. Eventually, you may even find yourself skipping the negative thought in the first place!

Photo by Max van den Oetelaar

What are your “must do’s” in living with a chronic condition? Do you practice any of the above? Let me know in the comments below!

Create the Perfect Apology With These Five Tips

On By epil(epsy)ogueIn Health and Wellness, lifestyle, Mental HealthLeave a comment

‘Tis the season of forgiveness.

We all have said, and done things that we regret. We know we messed up. So how do we start the apology process? Sometimes it seems impossible.

If we break down the process into steps, and gather our emotions, it’s not.

Here are five ways to communicate that you are sorry, and have the other person feel your sincerity. 

Express your regret or remorse. Something happened, and it didn’t turn out well. How do you feel about what happened? Were your actions something regretful? Do you feel utterly empty without the other party’s presence in your life? Be honest and open about how you feel about the result of what happened.

Explain what you think went wrong (without pointed phrases). Pointed phrases are statements that shift responsibility to the other party. They invalidate the other person’s feelings. An example of a pointed phrase is “I’m sorry that you were offended” or “I’m sorry, but you…” They have every right to feel what they feel, as do you. As much as you wouldn’t want them to dismiss your feelings, don’t dismiss theirs. 

Request forgiveness and allow as much time as the other needs to process their emotions. Putting a time limit, or expressing an expected date of when the other person should forgive you, will most likely cause the other person to not want to even begin the forgiveness process. 

Before composing: Give yourself time to be in a space where you feel ready and able to apologize. Being sincere is more important than rushing an apology. Emotions of remorse best translate in a face to face interaction. in times of COVID-19, that may not be an option, but consider a video visit. Likewise, just your voice can convey sincerity over the phone. 

If you want to say sorry but feel like an in person or over the phone apology would cause more issues (ie. Interruptions, raised voices), a hand written one is better than none. No deed is too small if the relationship is worth restoring.

You are ready forgive/apologize, and move forward. How do you know the other party is ready? You won’t necessarily know. But don’t let assuming that the other party is not ready to forgive, hold you back from reaching out with an apology.

Do you feel like you need to apologize to someone? Are you going to use the tips above? Let us know, in the comments, how your apology was accepted (or denied).

Dog Days of Quarantine

On By epil(epsy)ogueIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

Physical (formerly known as social) distancing is important to keeping yourself safe and healthy. However, it can get lonely, and let’s admit, even downright boring staying at home. We at least have the ability to watch movies, cook, bake, and play games to keep us from going stir crazy. But what about Fido?

We must remember our furry friends during this isolation process. Filling their basic needs of shelter love and food, may not be enough during this time. Meaningful interactions and continuing to maintain social order in the home help keep your dog calm and less anxious through this big change in his life.

Routine

Routine is important for dogs. Now that we find ourselves at home for a large amount of time we need to establish new routines. Did you used to feed your dog every morning right after you showered? Maybe you can incorporate the same ritual but in different steps. 

Now that you are waking up later, you can feed the dog right when you wake up. This gives you time to hang out in your PJs and drink a cup of Joe before you shower. It may take some time for doggo to get used to, but in time he will realize this is the new normal. 

Walk

Although we are practicing social distancing, most of us in the United States are still allowed to leave the house recreationally. This means we can take a S-T-R-O-L-L! We have to spell the word “stroll” because the dog now knows how to spell walk, and knows what it means. Scary, sometimes, how smart they are, right?

If you decide to take that walk, be sure you pass people on the sidewalk with at least 6ft between. Do not go to dog parks, or other highly visited spaces. 

Play

Although we cannot visit public spaces like dog parks, it does not mean that Fido cannot get the excitement of play. They need the mental and physical stimulation in order to regulate their behavior at home.

A longer walk can tire Fido out. If you take a longer walk, be sure to listen to your dog’s body language and not expect too much from him in the beginning, if he is not in shape. Work up slowly to longer walks. 

For a change in pace, try a short activity at a higher energy level. Maybe you have been itching to dust off those old roller-blades, skate boards, or even bikes out for Pups to run beside. Be sure you teach him how to join you safely to avoid getting tangled up. Don’t forget your safety gear! While you both are having fun, be sure to pay attention to his body language to know when to stop, and let him set the pace.

Bath

Hygiene is imperative, more so now than ever, and not just for those of us without paws. A dog’s skin health is a big influence in overall happiness. Perhaps you took Puppers to the groomer every week. Now that you are sheltering in place, a trip to the groomer is not feasible. 

If an outside bath is possible, try to reduce water waste by running the hose in the lawn, or dumping bath buckets in the garden. Before putting the used water in the lawn or garden, check to see if your dog shampoo is safe for plants.

Perhaps an indoor bath is preferred. If bathing in a sink or bathtub, clean the surfaces after use and check drains for hair clogs. At my house, my husband has to pull out the big clogs – I just don’t have the stomach for it!

Treats

Speaking of stomach… It is hard to resist those puppy dog eyes! I know I have fallen victim to them plenty of times. But we must resist. In order to keep Dog at a healthy weight, we can not overdo it with constant treats. 

Encourage good behavior with treats. Use treats to teach a new trick or brush up on service dog assistant tasks.  As long as treat giving remains constructive, it is unlikely that you will overdo or over indulge.

Personal Space 

Personal space is something that is important to us all. Having the family home all day can be stressful on your dog. We need to respect their personal space as we expect them to respect ours. Love and affection is wonderful to give a dog again but make sure to notice their behavior and understand when they need a little bit more space.

A Brave, New World

We all wish that we could speak to our animal and explain what is going on in the world. We want to tell them that although we are stressed and scared there is no reason for him to be, because we will keep him safe. But we cannot speak to them, which is why it is so important to let our actions do the communicating.

It is a weird, weird world, and it is constantly changing. For the foreseeable future, this is the new normal. If we remain confident our furry family will settle in with us.

Because the best way to lead is by example.