Tag: Mental Health

Bad day? Four tips to have a brighter day.

On By epil(epsy)ogueIn Health and Wellness, Mental HealthLeave a comment

It was early, the sun was shining ☀️, the birds were singing 🐦. But I must have gotten out of bed on the wrong side. Every little thing was irking me. My partner was complaining about his back, again. He was trying to help me with something on my phone and all I could focus on was his coffee breath. ☕ Dallas went out to pee, and he was sniffing the bush for what I thought was for-ev-er.
My partner even told me he donated $100 to a local 8-year-old rock climber, who was crushed by a boulder and lost her leg. All I got was annoyed that he didn’t use his $100 elsewhere. (Like for food for people during this Covid time? Not sure I actually had an idea in mind. Again, I was just being a grouch.)
That’s what I knew I needed an attitude adjustment. How can any human be annoyed from somebody helping an eight year old girl in need? Had I suddenly turned evil overnight? Most likely not, I just desperately needed a change in mindset. 🧠


So how do we help ourselves when we feel that the world cannot do anything right?

Be aware of your words and your actions. The good news is that you realize you are grumpy. And grumpy might be an understatement… However you have the advantage here because you can recognize this. Keep that awareness; be very careful how you treat and talk to the people around you. Try to keep in mind that they are not meaning to annoy or hurt. Unless you have been very mean to them already, I’m sure they don’t even know that you’re feeling this way. You can inform them that you need a little bit of space in order to get yourself back to a not easily activated state. Be honest, tell them that there is nothing that they can do. It is best to just let you have your space at this time.

Change your atmosphere. Okay so you can’t quite just get back into bed, close your eyes, open them and literally get out on the other side of the bed, and all will be fixed. But you can change the environment that you’re in right now. If you can be outside, and breathe some fresh air, do so. Let some sun beams melt that ice on your heart. 😎 But please wear sunscreen!

Do one activity that you know always makes you happy. You know that one scene in the movie that always makes you laugh out loud? Watch that scene. Do you have a video game that you can immerse yourself in and remove yourself from reality for a moment? Play it. Are you a workout junky that gets that endorphin kick when you do 2000 jumping jacks? Jump away! Read more about how movement matters to improve mood.

Fake it ’till you make it. A wiser fella than myself once said: start with the actions, and the feelings will follow. Start with a small grin. Voice appreciation for the small things. Soon you may find yourself truly smiling and aware of the better, brighter day you are having. 🌞

How do you usually turn your frown upside down? If you use any of these tips, let us know in the comments!

Create the Perfect Apology With These Five Tips

On By epil(epsy)ogueIn Health and Wellness, lifestyle, Mental HealthLeave a comment

‘Tis the season of forgiveness.

We all have said, and done things that we regret. We know we messed up. So how do we start the apology process? Sometimes it seems impossible.

If we break down the process into steps, and gather our emotions, it’s not.

Here are five ways to communicate that you are sorry, and have the other person feel your sincerity. 

Express your regret or remorse. Something happened, and it didn’t turn out well. How do you feel about what happened? Were your actions something regretful? Do you feel utterly empty without the other party’s presence in your life? Be honest and open about how you feel about the result of what happened.

Explain what you think went wrong (without pointed phrases). Pointed phrases are statements that shift responsibility to the other party. They invalidate the other person’s feelings. An example of a pointed phrase is “I’m sorry that you were offended” or “I’m sorry, but you…” They have every right to feel what they feel, as do you. As much as you wouldn’t want them to dismiss your feelings, don’t dismiss theirs. 

Request forgiveness and allow as much time as the other needs to process their emotions. Putting a time limit, or expressing an expected date of when the other person should forgive you, will most likely cause the other person to not want to even begin the forgiveness process. 

Before composing: Give yourself time to be in a space where you feel ready and able to apologize. Being sincere is more important than rushing an apology. Emotions of remorse best translate in a face to face interaction. in times of COVID-19, that may not be an option, but consider a video visit. Likewise, just your voice can convey sincerity over the phone. 

If you want to say sorry but feel like an in person or over the phone apology would cause more issues (ie. Interruptions, raised voices), a hand written one is better than none. No deed is too small if the relationship is worth restoring.

You are ready forgive/apologize, and move forward. How do you know the other party is ready? You won’t necessarily know. But don’t let assuming that the other party is not ready to forgive, hold you back from reaching out with an apology.

Do you feel like you need to apologize to someone? Are you going to use the tips above? Let us know, in the comments, how your apology was accepted (or denied).

How plants help brighten your day.

On By epil(epsy)ogueIn Health and Wellness, Home & Gardening, Mental HealthLeave a comment

I am an avid plant lover. At any given time I have at least three different plants propagating somewhere on my window sills. These little green buddies do so much more for me than I realize. Here are some ways plants may help you too.

Light.

The south side of my house a lot of bright and beautiful sunlight, however at the north side of my house is particularly dark and dungeon like. My office sits on the north side, and now that I’m working from home, I am impacted by the low light.

I forced myself to put three plants that require a moderate amount of sunlight in my office area. So now I don’t feel like I am opening the shades purely for me, but I have a responsibility to my little buddies to keep them happy. With the past weeks of opening the blinds for them I have seen an improvement in my mood. 

Sunlight deprivation is a proven emotional affect on humans health and well-being. The concept of seasonal affectiveness disorder, is known through the low light (winter) months. But now through COVID 19 and forced time inside, sunlight is just as important.

Spider plant in a rounded terracotta pot near a window.
How many plants can you fit in a south facing window?

Color.

Even if you have a monochromatic themed decor in your home. Pops of color in plants can affect your mood. Some Research believes that it has to do with the wavelength of the color itself, in combination with a person’s individual history.

Higher frequency wavelengths tend to create higher energy emotions while lower frequency wavelengths create lower energy emotions. However, if culturally a color symbolizes something specific that can change the mood output. 

For example, blue is a low frequency color that can cause calming affect. But in Mexico blue can indicate mourning, so blue may cause slight distress to someone from that culture.

Jade plant in decorated terracotta pot.
Even if the plant itself is not colorful, you can add plant décor!

In western culture these colors are found to be related to these moods:

  • Red – power, strength
  • Blue – healing, calm
  • Yellow – energy, stimulation
  • Green – luck, progress (green means go)
  • Black – sophistication, mystery
  • Purple – spirituality, wealth (epilepsy awareness!)
  • White – peace, clarity

So thinking about using plant color in your home, think about the energy you want in that room. Your office may want plants with reds, yellows and greens to get you pumped, confident and progressive. On the contrary, in your bedroom you may want plants with blues and whites for an area ready for relaxation and good dreams.

Life.

Plants in your space give you that sense of simbiosis with the CO2 cycle. Plants breathe in carbon dioxide, and emit oxygen. They help freshen the atmosphere of your home, but they also improve the atmosphere of the whole entirety of the Earth! How cool is that?! Their leaves secret and absorb moisture, so they help regulate the humidity in your home. Our bodies pick up on these regulations of the air and physically improve our life.

So if you’re looking for a quick fix to help reduce your stress, improve your mood, and create a healthier living space, your answer is: plants.

Christmas cactus with a pink bloom
Blooming Christmas Cactus featured on @epil.epsy.ogue (Instagram)

Be sure to do your research on choosing the correct plant for your sunlight availability, temperature ranges, maintenance requirements, and pet safety if you have one living in the home. 

Do you have plants in your home? What are you favorite plants that bring you peace and happiness? Share in the comments below.

I’m trying minimalism (to see how it would impact epilepsy) so you don’t have to.

On By epil(epsy)ogueIn lifestyle, Personal StoriesLeave a comment

My chronic illness causes constant fatigue. My body is battling itself from the inside, and it’s hard to deal with anything on the outside. Housework falls by the wayside; it is just too hard to make things happen. Everyday I got to see things getting piled up larger and larger, waiting for the time that I felt good enough to do something about it. And that time rarely comes.

One day I took a good long look at my house, and my life, and finally decided I needed to do something drastic to help me. What I ended up looking in to, was minimalism. At first I thought, “how ridiculous? I love the majority of my items in my home, I will never be able to part with them. I should just give up now.”

As I read, I found minimalism didn’t mean living with nothing, it meant living with less.

Research shows brain fatigue increases when it has to process more in an environment. Brain fatigue means body fatigue. Studies have found that clutter in a space raises cortisol levels. Cortisol is your stress hormone. Therefore clutter hits you with a double whammy, to your physical and mental health.

The more I thought about it, the more it started to look good for my epileptic brain. With things being simplified and reduced in my house, my brain would not need to use as much energy (because it really does not have any to spare). 

So, this is where we started.

Chalk board reminder if our Keep It Conditions.

Set some guidelines to help you out with the decision making process of what to keep, donate, or trash. Actually write these down, so that you have something visual to reference. Our guidelines are: 

  • Have I used this in the last year? Will I use it in the upcoming year?
  • Can it be replaced for less than or equal to $20? Can it be borrowed?
  • Would I purchase this item again?
  • Is this living out the purpose for which it was created? Or have I found a better use for this and it is currently doing its job?
  • Am I keeping it out of guilt?
  • if I had the opportunity, would I sell it in a yard sale?
  • Could somebody else use it or love it more?
  • Does it “spark joy”? (Inspired by the KonMari method)

My largest collection that sparks joy is my wardrobe. I love my clothing. I do not buy an item of clothing that will not create at least three complete outfits with the clothing items that I currently have. I am truly a curator. 💁🏽‍♀️

However, I do hold onto my items of clothing for decades. I’m not kidding, I have T-shirts that I wore in the 5th grade. (And yes they do still fit; I went through a very early growth spurt, and then never grew again.) 

So some items of clothing are clearly made for a younger person, and I am holding on to them purely for selfish nostalgia. That is where those questions come in. “Could someone else use or love it more?” 

Two bags of clothes ready for donation next to Al the avocado plant.

Most definitely, yes.

I feel better knowing that I’ve donated them and somebody else will wear and love them the way they should be loved.

The majority of my newer wardrobe has been left untouched, but a lot of other items have been donated, easing the stress of both me and the bar that holds my clothes!

Onion method is not called The Onion method because it’s stinky and makes you cry, it is because you focus on your house layer by layer. Start with the large items, or the items that you can easily identify that do not belong in that space.

Here are some items I found in my living room.

Left to right: Hair tie, Jack-o’-lantern necklace, mailbox key, kangaroo pencil, camera lense cover.

It is September, so that Halloween necklace has been out for almost a year. How embarrassing! 🤦🏽‍♀️ But it has a home in the Halloween decoration box in storage. The extra camera cover belongs in the camera bag, the pencil belongs in the office, the hair tie belongs in the bathroom, and the mailbox key belongs in the key bowl. And done! That’s five things already cleaned out of my living space! Small victory, but it feels pretty good.

Starting in the space where the smallest amount of work, makes the most visually impactful change, can be a great kickstarter. We donated a lot of clothes, but we don’t get to admire the closet like the clear space in the living room.

It is the room we hang out in the most as a family. Moving those 5 items made a clear open space that I can admire while the family spends time together. And this can be now more quality time because none of us are distracted by the mess that we are surrounded by.

The 15 minute rule. Limit yourself to 15 minutes at a time. Set a timer, and work consistently for that 15 minutes. If that is all you can manage for that day, it is absolutely fine, you did an amazing job.

Metallic Sandtimer – Not 15 mins.

In the beginning, that’s all I could manage. My body would get fatigued, or I just felt that I could not bring myself to do any more work. But I quickly found myself able to extend that 15 minutes. And not only physically I was able to, but I actually wanted to!

I’m not too sure if simplifying will help me as drastically as others. Regardless, I am sure that the benefits, no matter how small, would be worthwhile.

This is where we will start. I’ll give updates about this journey. I hope you are as excited as we, to find where this experiment brings us!

What is the level of clutter in your house? Do you have any tips on how to simplify that you find helpful? Let us know if you try any of the methods above, and how well it worked for you! 

How to Use Movement to Improve Your Mood.

On By epil(epsy)ogueIn Health and Wellness, Mental Health4 Comments

Motion is emotion.

When I first heard this phrase, I quickly shrugged it off. It was a week of increased seizure activity, and that particular day was exceptionally challenging. Fatigue was causing my ability to move to almost be non-existent. My mood was so low I couldn’t fathom experiencing any other emotions. 

However, my partner, being the wonderful support he is, never left my side. He continued to remind me that motion is emotion. He was trying to encourage me to move up and out of the dark place I was in.

Shifting our thinking when feeling negative, anxious, or depressed can be a daunting task. When it comes to shifting our mindset, we remember my partner’s advice: motion is emotion.

Consider Newton’s first law of motion is a perfect example. “An object at rest stays at rest..” But this doesn’t mean it will stay like that forever. To jumpstart that movement, start with the basics.

A vibrant woman with fiery red hair, dancing in a field of fluffy dandelion-like flowers. She wears a flowing white sun dress, her body arched backward, arms gracefully stretched behind her, against a serene blue sky with wispy clouds
Photo by Olga

Stick to the basics. Have you moved your body? Have you felt the sunshine on your face? Have you brushed your teeth? Have you had a meal/snack? Have you taken a shower?

Yes, these might seem like little things. But, these little things inspire bigger things. How?
Because they do matter. You may not be aware that they matter on most days. It is on that day that you feel your worst, that you can notice the biggest difference when you accomplish these little things. 

If you want to change the world, or even if you want to change your own world, you must start at the basics. Initiate that forward motion. referring back to Newton’s first law, it also says “…An object in motion stays in motion unless acted upon by an unbalanced force…”

Starting may be difficult, but continuing is easier. I promise; it’s physics. There may be times that an outside force (like seizures in my case) may slow, or halt your motion. But remember, motion is emotion. 

If you have read it this far, I want to remind you that you are amazing. And you have the ability to take care of yourself and tend to the basics. You are worth it and your mental health is worth it.

And when you complete the basics, just know that I am proud of you. I am grateful I have you to come along this journey… Join me won’t you?

What movement helps you when you feel stuck? Share your ideas in the comments.

Chronic Illness: Expectation vs. Reality

On By epil(epsy)ogueIn chronic illness, Health and Wellness, Mental HealthLeave a comment

Managing social expectations can be difficult when you have a chronic illness. Social expectations of what your illness “should” be like, can be greatly influenced by things seen on TV and movies. Unfortunately, many illnesses and disabilities get portrayed in just one way. And that depiction can sometimes be the only experience of an illness or disability someone has in their life.

You may have seen commercials for new medications that  have actors portraying your chronic illness. Sometimes it is hard to see a person in the commercial doing all these things that you cannot. People in those commercials always seem to have a positive attitude about their condition. 

You might see things on social media of people accomplishing milestones that you’re worried you may never get to. It is okay to feel frustrated. It is okay to feel hurt by other people’s experiences. No two people, and no two journeys are alike. 

What can we do to help when we are feeling like that?

Recognize how strong you are. Say to yourself “this is really hard, but I am working on it.” You are here in this moment, and you know what that means? You have been brave enough to not give up or give in to your disability or chronic illness.

Allow yourself to feel frustration, disappointment, anger, etc. Don’t let somebody tell you that your emotions are bad or invalid. You are going to feel, however you are going to feel. Practice not pushing the emotion away, or pushing the emotion down. But also practice not clinging to that emotion or holding grudges. I say practice, because this will take time to get better at accomplishing.

Focus on what you know to be true in this moment. Try to avoid thinking only in extremes. For example “I never will” or “it is wrong that” or “it is not fair that” are parts of extreme thinking. Remind yourself of the good you have right now. Read more about stating your one good thing here.

Finish by thinking of pleasant things that you can do today that makes you feel good. And acknowledge how amazing and wonderful it is that you can do that. There are many activities that can bring joy that don’t require much effort, but can bring much joy. Can’t think of anything off hand? The following list contains Covid-19 restriction friendly suggestions.

  • Singing (regardless of talent level)

  • Talking with a friend (on the phone or in person)

  • Day dreaming (stick to good thoughts)

  • Gaming (board or video)

  • Playing with pets (this is good for them too)

  • Reading (books or blogs – like this one!)

  • Napping (one of my favorites)

  • Learning something new (language, hobby, musical instrument)


Here is my example of using the above technique: I see people who are days, months, and years seizure-free via social media. Right now in my life I’m lucky to go a couple of hours seizure-free. Therefore, I can feel quite discouraged and jealous at times.

But, the fact that I can help bring awareness about the different experiences people have with epilepsy, and other chronic illnesses makes me feel proud. Helping more of the general public be aware that not all epilepsy looks the same, is very rewarding. 

My hope is, with more education, social expectations will be more realistic. My truth in this moment is: I know I have the capability of reaching towards that goal, with this blog. It is hard, but I am working on it.

Having a chronic illness comes with a lot of unpredictability. You may not know what the future may hold. But together we can work on bringing more joy and comfort in the now.

What are some frustrations you experience with your, or a loved ones chronic illness? Do you think you will try what was discussed above in those moments? Feel free to share in the comments.