Tag: peace

Bad day? Four tips to have a brighter day.

On By epil(epsy)ogueIn Health and Wellness, Mental HealthLeave a comment

It was early, the sun was shining ☀️, the birds were singing 🐦. But I must have gotten out of bed on the wrong side. Every little thing was irking me. My partner was complaining about his back, again. He was trying to help me with something on my phone and all I could focus on was his coffee breath. ☕ Dallas went out to pee, and he was sniffing the bush for what I thought was for-ev-er.
My partner even told me he donated $100 to a local 8-year-old rock climber, who was crushed by a boulder and lost her leg. All I got was annoyed that he didn’t use his $100 elsewhere. (Like for food for people during this Covid time? Not sure I actually had an idea in mind. Again, I was just being a grouch.)
That’s what I knew I needed an attitude adjustment. How can any human be annoyed from somebody helping an eight year old girl in need? Had I suddenly turned evil overnight? Most likely not, I just desperately needed a change in mindset. 🧠


So how do we help ourselves when we feel that the world cannot do anything right?

Be aware of your words and your actions. The good news is that you realize you are grumpy. And grumpy might be an understatement… However you have the advantage here because you can recognize this. Keep that awareness; be very careful how you treat and talk to the people around you. Try to keep in mind that they are not meaning to annoy or hurt. Unless you have been very mean to them already, I’m sure they don’t even know that you’re feeling this way. You can inform them that you need a little bit of space in order to get yourself back to a not easily activated state. Be honest, tell them that there is nothing that they can do. It is best to just let you have your space at this time.

Change your atmosphere. Okay so you can’t quite just get back into bed, close your eyes, open them and literally get out on the other side of the bed, and all will be fixed. But you can change the environment that you’re in right now. If you can be outside, and breathe some fresh air, do so. Let some sun beams melt that ice on your heart. 😎 But please wear sunscreen!

Do one activity that you know always makes you happy. You know that one scene in the movie that always makes you laugh out loud? Watch that scene. Do you have a video game that you can immerse yourself in and remove yourself from reality for a moment? Play it. Are you a workout junky that gets that endorphin kick when you do 2000 jumping jacks? Jump away! Read more about how movement matters to improve mood.

Fake it ’till you make it. A wiser fella than myself once said: start with the actions, and the feelings will follow. Start with a small grin. Voice appreciation for the small things. Soon you may find yourself truly smiling and aware of the better, brighter day you are having. 🌞

How do you usually turn your frown upside down? If you use any of these tips, let us know in the comments!

Create the Perfect Apology With These Five Tips

On By epil(epsy)ogueIn Health and Wellness, lifestyle, Mental HealthLeave a comment

‘Tis the season of forgiveness.

We all have said, and done things that we regret. We know we messed up. So how do we start the apology process? Sometimes it seems impossible.

If we break down the process into steps, and gather our emotions, it’s not.

Here are five ways to communicate that you are sorry, and have the other person feel your sincerity. 

Express your regret or remorse. Something happened, and it didn’t turn out well. How do you feel about what happened? Were your actions something regretful? Do you feel utterly empty without the other party’s presence in your life? Be honest and open about how you feel about the result of what happened.

Explain what you think went wrong (without pointed phrases). Pointed phrases are statements that shift responsibility to the other party. They invalidate the other person’s feelings. An example of a pointed phrase is “I’m sorry that you were offended” or “I’m sorry, but you…” They have every right to feel what they feel, as do you. As much as you wouldn’t want them to dismiss your feelings, don’t dismiss theirs. 

Request forgiveness and allow as much time as the other needs to process their emotions. Putting a time limit, or expressing an expected date of when the other person should forgive you, will most likely cause the other person to not want to even begin the forgiveness process. 

Before composing: Give yourself time to be in a space where you feel ready and able to apologize. Being sincere is more important than rushing an apology. Emotions of remorse best translate in a face to face interaction. in times of COVID-19, that may not be an option, but consider a video visit. Likewise, just your voice can convey sincerity over the phone. 

If you want to say sorry but feel like an in person or over the phone apology would cause more issues (ie. Interruptions, raised voices), a hand written one is better than none. No deed is too small if the relationship is worth restoring.

You are ready forgive/apologize, and move forward. How do you know the other party is ready? You won’t necessarily know. But don’t let assuming that the other party is not ready to forgive, hold you back from reaching out with an apology.

Do you feel like you need to apologize to someone? Are you going to use the tips above? Let us know, in the comments, how your apology was accepted (or denied).

How to Focus on the Positive (in a time of Negativity)

On By epil(epsy)ogueIn Health and Wellness, lifestyle, Mental Health10 Comments

“Just focus on the good”. – Advice I’m sure you have heard before.

Kind of a hard thing to do right now in the world. All the scary and bad thoughts that can easily occupy your mind. Everything and everyone is focused on the Coronavirus how terribly it is affecting the world. So if everyone and everything is having you focus on the bad, how are you supposed to get your mind at ease, and off of this pandemic?

The simple answer: change of mindset.

The better answer: small steps can help in changing your mindset.

This will not happen overnight. This is something that takes practice, and dedication. Dedication to see the good. This does not take more than a few moments, and you don’t need any special equipment. 

Right now change of mindset might seem like an overwhelming task. But all you need, is one. One good thing. 

How do you find your good thing of the day?

First assess who you are, where you are, and what you have in this moment. 

Is there someone in your life that is always your support? Have you accomplished something that maybe was a bummer doing, but you are proud that it’s done? Did someone say or do something that made you smile? 

Even if you’re something good is simple as: I had good snuggle time with my dog today. That’s where I need you to start – smallest things. Overtime reflecting on your day it will get easier, and you will find more, or bigger good things. I promise.

Enlist the help of your family and friends to start getting in the habit reviewing your one good thing of the day.I practice at the end of every day with my husband. But as long as we have been practicing, even we found we forgot to think of our one good thing, once this virus stopped the world. 

But being dedicated to our mental health, we picked it back up. Don’t let a slight lapse in practice discourage you. Just start again and let you one good thing of the day be that you are back focused on remembering your one good thing!

You’ve got this, friend. So go out there, and be prepared to start counting your good things!

Anything you can think of right now as your one good thing? Share it below in the comments.